Best Biscuits Ever!

There aren’t a lot of foods that can beat freshly baked bread. The incredible smell that wafts through the entire house followed by biting into a slightly crispy crust with a soft, chewy center is fantastically delicious!

While working at a bakery a few years ago, I developed a love for baking bread.  From the mixing and kneading to the final rise during baking, I just love it. Sometimes I feel a meal is incomplete without some type of bread and I pride myself on being able to roll out some dough and make something that fits the meal.

Tonight however, was one of those night’s where the food was ready by the time we walked in the door. Forget having to rise, there wasn’t even time to mix and knead. Making bread became an afterthought  after everyone was settled…

Seriously though, dinner is incomplete without some type of bread.

Tonight’s dinner consisted of roasted chicken and mashed potatoes. This meal screams of needing bread. Since there was no time to make bread, my wife suggested throwing in some biscuits… canned biscuits… from the store. The kind that are there in a pinch. The kind that you smother in butter and jelly or gravy, never really bothering to enjoy the goodness of it…

…Those canned biscuits…from the store… soured my pride like a batch of neglected sourdough.

“Daddy, these are your best biscuits yet! Daddy wins the award! These are the best, tasting biscuits EVER!!”

My other daughter chimes in with, “Great job Daddy! You could go on the cooking show to show the chefs your famous biscuits!”

My soured pride never had a chance to rise.

There’s usually a second chance to rise….right?

Wait… hold on…There’s more… Those canned biscuits…from the store… came from the back of the refrigerator (they’ve been there for at least two months), from an off-brand company with biscuits that were oddly shaped, and came out flat and clumpy…

 

Well, at least my girls ate their dinner.

 

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Just Plain Funny

Call it the writer in me but I like to add my own lyrics to songs (or maybe I Just can’t remember the words and just ad lib to keep it going) and my youngest daughter seems to have the same… creativeness ( or problem) that I have…My wife and I were on our way home in separate vehicles. I had our two older girls with me and my wife had our youngest  in her car. They “beat” me home and our youngest daughter said, “Daddy, we beat you! You’re a rotten head (rotten egg)!!”

 

 

My 3-year-old and her older sisters were playing a racing game. Her oldest sister had started when my 3-year-old wasn’t ready… My 3-year-old chased after her sister, saying” Hey! I’m not ready!! Cheater, Cheater, lemon squeezer!!”

 

This wasn’t my kid but it was still funny!! We were at a local city festival enjoying an impromptu kids’ spelling contest. One 6-year-old boy was asked to spell KITTY, without missing a beat he spelled…T-I-T-T-Y… Whoops!

Random Thoughts From A Focus-Challenged Life

Not Today: I  was feeling a little tired from an early wake up and a busy day. Around mid afternoon I yawned the biggest yawn I could muster and told my 3-year-old I  felt like I could take a nap. She replied, “Daddy, you can sleep at dark time.”

This Isn’t Your Bed– When putting my 3-year-old down to bed and after saying our prayers, I pretended to be sleeping. My 3-year-old bluntly says, “Daddy, this isn’t your bed.”… Can I use that line the next time you waddle into our room?

At Least She’s Listening-  My wife and I spend a great deal of time trying to teach our daughters to be responsible for their own things; you know, an effort to avoid the tireless battle of, “Daddy! Mama! I can’t find my…socks, shoes, backpack, homework, lunch bag…toys…”…

My 3 daughters and I had just gotten home from a trip to the grocery store. I had bought some ingredients for that night’s dinner. Somehow, those ingredients went missing. After about 10 minutes of looking, I thought to myself…out loud… “Where did that bag go?… Dog gone it…where did they go? I can’t find it….” My oldest replies, “I don’t know daddy. I’m not in charge of your bag.  It’s probably in the last place you put it. Where did you put?”…Thanks kiddo…

Too Early For This Kind of Drama: My oldest daughter who just turned 8, is at that age where life should still be simple but is on the precipice of finding out otherwise-

My oldest daughter: I don’t think we’re friends anymore…(speaking of her best friend.. she’s had for ages…since like…kindergarten)…

Me: Why is that?

Her: Because What’s-her-face-who-likes-to-make-trouble said she gets to play with my best friend for 3 days out of the week…Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, while I only get to play with her Monday and Friday…and then she was saying this boy  likes me as a girlfriend but I don’t like him like that. I just like him as a friend. I’m too young for that (oh thank you LORD…and yes you are)..and it’s not fair!

Me (nodding in confusion and understanding all at the same time):…um…hmmm…. Well..I’ll tell you what…

Her: What?

Here are my thoughts…

(Mrs. Wifey!!??!!…Our daughter wants to talk to you.)

 

Challenges Await

One of my daughter’s isn’t afraid to express herself… For better or worse….After waking up earlier than normal, my daughters were playing with their toys before it was time to get ready for school…

My expressive daughter: Daddy, do we have any waffles left?

Me: I’m not sure…

Her: Why don’t you look?

…Excuse me…What did you say? My defiant personality wanted to kick in the door fully armed with a storm of wrath… Breathing deeply, I politely opened the freezer and prepared the last waffle remaining…

Me: Here you go…(as politely as I could muster) That is not how you talk to people…that is not how you talk to me…Next time, please and thank you are all you need to say.

That polite talk might have to turn into a stern talk…

My expressive daughter: Mama… do we have any milk?

My wife: I’m not sure.

My expressive daughter: Why don’t you look?

….Excuse me??? Might be time to turn that dependence into independence… That or she just wakes up hangry (when anger and hungry join together).

Hot Chocolate Will Never Be The Same

One day my youngest daughter randomly broke the silence with, “Daddy, I went poopy and it was runny and I peaked at it and it looked like hot chocolate except no marshmallows.”…. I think I’ll stick with my coffee.

???

Signs of aging begin to show when you lose track of what’s popular in kid lingo…Apparently there is this thing called a…dap?? (Can’t be a dab because that’s a fist bump…right? Is it still called a dab/fist bump? Do fist bumps even happen anymore?) I don’t get it but it’s hilarious to watch… If you don’t know what it is…The left arm raises straight at an angle above the head while the right arm bends with the hand covering the eyes…. I saw my daughters doing it one day.

Me: What are you doing?

Them: It’s called the Dap..

Me: The what?

Them: The Dap.

Me: What’s the Dap? Where’d it come from?

Their explanation is even more hilarious!

Them: Um…. it came from somebody that had a really huge sneeze…

 

Helping Hand: My oldest daughter had somehow managed to get herself stuck in a treasure chest full of stuffed animals. Gut bursting with giggles, she yelled out, “Can someone help me?” I asked my 3-year-old who was busy twirling in circles if she could lend a hand. She ran over, yanked off her sister’s sandals and ran away laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Christmas, Merry Valentines!

Have a wonderful New Thanksgiving! Happy Christmas! Merry Valentine’s Day! Wait, what time of year is this? I feel so lost… I’m so confused. I can’t seem to get a grasp on what’s happening around me, much less the weather: 40 degrees and rainy one day. 65 and sunny the next. Then, a blizzard slams our area. Oofda!

An unexpected blizzard gave me time to once again, come back to a blog that has gone neglected. In absence of me taking the time to write, life has maintained a furiously fast pace that has left me twisted in knots like a pretzel.

The following conversations aren’t word for word but a gist of my constant confusion:

Me: Okay girls here are your lunches for today.

Them: We don’t have school today.

Me: Wait. What? Oh… ok, since it’s cancelled, you can save the lunches for tomorrow.

Them: School wasn’t cancelled, it was a scheduled day off.

Me: A scheduled day off? Why? What for?

Them: Teachers need to prepare for conferences.

Me: What? We just had conferences last week.

Them: No we didn’t. We had them in October, it’s February.

Me: Really? Ugh.. When are they scheduled for?

Them: You need to schedule them.

Me: Okay. I should get right on that…

 

 

Me: What do you need for show and tell?

My 5-year-old daughter: Umm… I’m not sure I think we get to bring a picture.

Me: A picture of what?

My 5-year-old daughter: I want to bring a picture of my sister.

Me: Okie dokie….. (after dropping my daughters off at school, I find a paper that says, “Please have your child count out 100 items to celebrate the 100th day of school and have them bring those items for their show and tell”).. whoops!..

 

Me: Okay girls, time to get ready. Here are your shoes for basketball. Here are your goggles for swimming and here are your slippers for dance class.

My 7-year-old daughter: I’m not in basketball.

My 5-year-old: I don’t need goggles for dance class.

My 3-year-old: Daddy, today is Wednesday. We have kid’s club at church.

 

 

Me: Mrs. Wifey, I made a budget for Christmas.

Mrs. Wifey: Perfect. That will be great for next year.

Me: Why not this year?

Mrs. Wifey: This year’s Christmas has passed.

 

 

Oofda!…I’m a little behind…in my state of confusions, I think I may need to put those thoughts of relaxing in a hammock to rest…

If there is a parenting life lesson that has been challenging me over the past few months, it would be planning… Laugh all you want but planning and I have never worked well together. I have tried planning before but usually within five minutes, my plans changed.

If anything, not planning has become easier as my daughters grow older…No bottles to bring or food to mash when we go on adventures. No back-breaking diaper bags to haul around worrying about if I brought enough diapers. No strollers to use as a bumper car to push my way through crowded marketplaces. The fear of stained clothes eventually gave way to “meh, you can change when we get home.” Extra clothes on vacations? Please, just turn you underwear backwards then inside out and then backwards again and your set  for four days (just kidding, my girls have enough underwear to wear on our trips…but you get the point).

I will admit that I let myself live through an absent-minded world most days…. (What was I saying again?…Wait..What did you say? I can’t remember) and occasionally look for reminders to get by for the day. Unfortunately, not planning doesn’t work out well in a marriage or with three kids. As the based on “almost” true conversations suggests, it is imperative that I plan.

My daughters’ schooling will only get busier with tougher assignments and activities will for sure continue with an increase in time commitment. As my daughters get older, their different personalities are emerging more than ever, meaning those activities might possibly be divided three different ways.

 

I’m going back to school, my wife was promoted at work and we have dreams that won’t become a reality unless… planning becomes a priority…

I have skated by my whole life without planning and while I have learned a lot, I feel like I have missed out on a lot as well by not planning.

Ultimately, the LORD will decide the success or failure of plans. Proverbs 16:9 (ESV) says, “The heart of the man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” Proverbs 19:21 (ESV) says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.”

I do not want to be old and gray still dreaming about the what-if’s. I do not want to be left standing wondering life never happened while I still grew older I suppose it’s time to grow up a little more, and take planning a little more seriously.

 

 

(Funny side note, as if the LORD knew what I needed…all three of my daughters received a calendar in the mail… My wife received a calendar in the mail. I received a calendar from my work… hmm..I feel like there may be a connection here)

 

 

 

Too Cute To Correct

My youngest when she was two and having a hard time doing something:  OOFDA!

Mama, can I have some chocolick?
Can I use the chopstick? 

Why? We’re not eating. 

Because my lips hurt

Is it aftermoon?

After the sun begins to sleep in and the moon stays out longer, my three-year-old quickly grew accustomed to the change in seasons. 5 minutes after going to bed she comes out of her room and says:  Is it dark morning? 

When on a family vacation,  driving through the mountains,  rocking out to kids’ music,  one of my daughter’s interrupts our jam session by saying,  “Mama, daddy, my butt just burped.”

We were putting up our Christmas tree,  and our daughter says “Mama, Jack (our  dog) isn’t getting off the garlic.”. She was talking about the garland he was laying on. 

After learning about horse and buggy travel during school, my daughter asked her grandparents: Did you ride a horse and buggy when you were kids?

Daddy,  look at the padwin I made.             The what?                                                            The padwin, see, look: circle, square, circle, square…

Sock Monster

On a bright and hurried morning (who am I kidding, this happens quite frequently… I’ll blame the sock monster) all three of my daughters ended up having to wear mismatched socks. 

Someone laughed at the sight of them. To defend my daughters, I informed that someone, I couldn’t find any matches. That someone laughed again, “Why don’t you match them when you do laundry?”

You know,  that’s a great idea.  Let me just put this yellow one with that… wait,  not a match.  Let me try this pink…Nope… Ha, this white with that… Oofda, the sock monster strikes again.