Funny Pages

When trying to teach my oldest how to count past 20:
– “2010,2011,2012,2013” “No no sweetie it’s 21,22,23” “daddy, daddy, no, stop. I have my own way of counting ”

My year old and I were on a dock looking at the stars:
-what are those?
-those are stars
-did Grammy put them there?
-No, God put them there
-Did God use a ladder?

On our way up to northern Minnesota our middle child says:
-My butt just burped

While eating dinner, my oldest daughter held up her pinky and pointer finger with her other fingers down (the rock fist), my wife looked at her and stuck her thumb out showing the “I love you” sign. My daughter looked at her and said, “Mama, I don’t do that anymore.”

We had strawberries at the dinner table, my 3 year old daughter kept handing them to wife my asking her to take off the stem. After her 9th strawberry, she bit the strawberry in half, stuck her finger in it and said, “Hello, I’m Mr. Puppet.”

While on the last leg of a 2.5 mile bike ride, my five year old says to my wife,” Mama my legs are about to break.” 2 minutes later she asks my wife what space looks like. My wife replies,” Well it’s black and there are stars everywhere.” My five year old quickly says, ” and it has planets that we can bounce on too!”

My wife and I took our 3 girls to a county park that has a lake and a nice beach. Unfortunately, a half hour into our swimming, it started thundering. We went to a picnic area on the beach and had lunch. My wife and I contemplated staying or leaving. It continued to thunder and started raining. After we finished eating, we started packing our stuff. A big crack of thunder boomed overhead, our 5 year old frantically said, “Ok God we’re leaving, we’re leaving.”

As I started to get my daughters their breakfast, my 5 year old tried giving her almost 3 year old sister a stuffed elephant (this elephant belongs to my 3 year old). My 3 year old growled and turned into my knee. I told her to use her words if she didn’t want her elephant. My 3 year old said, “I don’t want it right now.” My 5 year old dropped it on the floor to which my 3 year old burst out in tears and cried, “SHE DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR!”

My wife and our soon to be 3-year-old were curled up on the catch. My wife was singing a sweet song right before bed, at the end of her song, I expected our daughter to say something like “I love you Mama” or “thank you Mama” instead our daughter looked up at her and said ever so simply, “Mama, we don’t take our eyes out because it’s hard to lift up our eyes out.”

My 5-year-old has learned a new trick. At dinner time we were having shrimp with an olive oil, garlic and parmesan sauce over noodles. Very delicious. My father-in-law warned us however, to not feed our kids seafood due to the danger of them liking it (tasty but expensive). I’m actually blaming him for teaching my daughter this trick.
We sat down at the table. My daughter quickly ate her shrimp. About half way through dinner, my 5-year-old so innocently says to me, “Daddy, daddy, look, there is a squirrel in our yard.” To appease my child’s simplistic fascination with a common squirrel, I looked out the window to see the squirrel… There was no squirrel. I came back to the table only to see my wife and my daughter laughing hysterically, with my daughter chewing something… She just squirreled away my shrimp.
After she finished chewing, my daughter once again said, “Daddy, daddy, look, there is a squirrel in our yard.” Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me…I got up to look out the window, no squirrel… With an uncontrollable laughter, my daughter ate my shrimp again.

My 3-year-old started screaming because a bee was flying near her. We went inside the house. After she calmed down, I told her if she screams that might make the bee sting her and instead try to breath and walk slowly to the house. My 5-year-old then pipes up with her own wisdom, “Daddy, daddy, stop. I all ready talked to her about this. I know all about parenting advice.”

After returning home from preschool, my 3-year-old daughter says to me, “Daddy, is it naptime?” I said, “After lunch it will be. You will have some playtime after lunch.” She continues with, “Daddy, I need sniffles. I am done with playtime.”

I had changed my 15-month-old’s diaper about 20 minutes earlier when I smelled something suspicious. I asked my 15-month-old, “Did you go poopy again?” Being the eager helper, my 3-year-old bends down, sniffs her sister’s bottom and says, “Yep! She pooped. Her bottom is stinky.”

” Daddy. My leg hurts. I think I have a crank in my leg ”

“I wish I had a nostril so I could breathe underwater”

My 3-year-old found her children’s Bible and began to look at the pictures featuring birds of the air. Soon after she said, “Daddy, mingos can fly.” I said, “Mangos can fly?” (I may have set her up … Still cute and funny though) She said,”Yeah, look (pointing to a picture with flamingos), mangos can fly!”


“Turn the t.v. off, it’s time for lunch.” I said. My 3-year-old turns off the t.v. and comes running to the table. Being smart and thinking I would avoid a potential sticky situation I ask her how she wants her sandwich cut instead of just cutting it without her opinion. I ask her, “Do you want your sandwich cut in a triangle, a rectangle, or not cut at all?” My 3-year-old replies, “Umm… A heart.” Are you serious?

7 thoughts on “Funny Pages

  1. Pingback: Dating Your Wife | Dads View Points

  2. Your daughters are sooooooo delightful….adorable…and what a great dad you must be…it is obvious how much you love them and that you really take the time to spend quality time with them…thanks for sharing and making me smile 🙂

    • They are very adorable but I’m fairly biased. They still ask to play with me so I must be doing something right
      :-). I have loved being able to spend so much time with my girls. It’s amazing to watch them learn and grow.

  3. I just read these again, and I can’t get over how funny and sweet it all is…the content, the fact that you captured and shared it…the blessings that God brings into our lives…thank you for being such a blessing…thank you for sharing 🙂

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